


Balance

by aleera21



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleera21/pseuds/aleera21
Summary: This story takes place shortly after the events that conclude The Last Jedi





	1. Chapter 1

It had begun with a simple touch: a brush of skin and press of fingers that haunted her dreams, waking her each night. Or rather, waking her when she was lucky. On those nights, Luke barged in, just as he had done on that fateful day, and sudden separation startled her awake. Other times, there was no interruption, and her imagination supplied a new ending for the scene—one that saw hesitant contact deepen. Instead of a brush of fingers, a clasp of hands. Then an embrace. Then... something more.

Upon waking from one of _those_ dreams, Rey was always tense, and that’s why she was here, in the Falcon’s underbelly, fiddling with shorted circuits and wires. She had an important job to do. The last of the Resistance lived within the ship for the time being; they couldn’t afford for the old girl to break down. She tried to focus her full attention on the task at hand, but once again her treacherous thoughts strayed.

She’d erred in judgement. She had convinced herself that going to him would be enough, that her presence alone would bring him back. Perhaps she’d been mistaken. Or else he’d manipulated her. Either way, the part of him that had once been Ben Solo was clearly long gone, and Kylo Ren was her sworn enemy.

Rey told herself that over and over, yet it never quite rang true. Her memory would conjure Ben’s face as he’d looked sitting across from her in the hut, so unsure when she’d reached towards him. She saw him after he’d struck down Snoke: that moment of connection before they’d spun and fought back to back. And she saw him as she’d seen him that last time. Yes, part of his slumped posture had reflected defeat, but in his eyes, she’d also seen loneliness, sadness, and a glimmer of hope that had extinguished when she shut the Falcon’s door without saying a word.

If she’d gone to him again then, would he have relented and come back with her? There was no way she could ever know. It would have been impossible anyway. She’d had others to save by that point. Ben had had his chance and blown it. No, not Ben. He wasn’t Ben. His name was Kylo Ren.

Rey huffed and threw down the circuit board. It struck BB-8, who rolled backwards, whirring and chirping.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head in an effort to clear it. “Look, can you finish up here? I need to take a break.”

BB-8 beeped in the affirmative and immediately set to work. Rey gave his head a gentle pat, in apology for her outburst, and then clambered out of the shaft.

“Hi, Rey!”

Someone grasped her forearm, helping her up, and she raised her gaze.

Poe Dameron was wearing one of his customary charming smiles. It was a roguish grin designed to melt the heart of any woman—and probably a few men, too—but Rey didn’t feel anything when she saw it. Oh, she liked Poe well enough. He was courageous and honest, and they were becoming good friends. However, she didn’t react to him in the same way as others onboard. Through the Force, she sensed their physical responses to him, but the only time she’d experienced anything similar had been with— No!

“Is everything okay on the bridge?”

She feared that she’d been too abrupt in her desperate desire to distract her mind, but Poe’s good humour never faltered; although, he did straighten and assume a more formal air.

“Nothing to report. No sign of the First Order on our tail, and we’ll reach our new base in the morning.”

“Oh... well... good. Where’s Finn?”

“With Rose, on break. I’m on my way to join them. Care to tag along?”

“Uh... no.... I’ve got some things to do.” It was a lie, but she knew she wouldn’t be good company at present, and she didn’t want to spoil what little time the others had in which to relax before their next rotation.

“Later then.”

Poe headed off down the corridor. He’d nearly disappeared around the bend before Rey thought to call out, “Thanks. For the hand up.”

“Any time, Jedi girl.” He made a gesture somewhere between a wave and a salute, and then he was gone.

_Jedi girl._

She knew he meant well, but Rey felt the full weight of those words. Everyone looked at her differently since she’d moved those rocks and rescued them on Crait. There was assessment in their gazes, and expectation. With Luke gone, she was their new hope. Their last hope. But she didn’t know what she was doing. Her brief training with Luke had boiled down to nothing but meditation. So far, she’d survived on instinct alone. She wasn’t a saviour, a figurehead. She was a no-one, a nothing.

_“But not to me.”_

Rey spun, but the corridor behind her was empty, the words in her head only a memory.

Since that day on Crait, there’d been no further contact between them. Snoke was gone, and with him, it seemed, the bond. And that was good, wasn’t it? She didn’t miss him—not at all—and she certainly didn’t look for him during quiet moments, glancing up at every shift in the air. That was merely keeping watch, being wary. The last thing she needed was Kylo Ren messing with her head, trying to glean her secrets or gain her allegiance. Yet, she couldn’t deny the veracity of the words that whispered in the back of her mind, telling her that he was the only one left now who could truly show her the ways of the Force.

She slammed down on the errant thought. She’d rather continue to fly blind than have _him_ as her teacher. No good could come from any contact between them that didn’t involve a final confrontation in which she took him down for good. Sometimes, she managed to make herself believe it.

Today was not one of those days.

***

The stormtrooper struck the wall with a thunk and slid to the floor.

“Get out.”

The soldier struggled to his feet. He swayed momentarily, but finally made it to the door. It had only been a light knock; the man would have a mild concussion at worst. He should be thankful he wasn’t dead. Once, Kylo Ren would have tossed him with such force his neck snapped. Now, he didn’t see the point.

It amused and pleased him that Hux, clearly fearful of his wrath, had sent a subordinate to report on their lack of progress in locating the Millennium Falcon. However, he knew it wasn’t that alone that had stayed his hand. Somewhere, buried deep, a part of him was relieved they’d not yet found the remaining rebels... that they’d not found her. He had offered her everything, and she had refused him. In choosing to stand against him, she had chosen death. But when the moment came to end it, he worried he would not be able to strike the blow.

Let the past die, he had told her, and he had tried to follow his own advice. It had proven impossible. He couldn’t dismiss the memory of the moment when they’d first touched through the Force, before Skywalker had barged in and ruined it all. Nor could he forget the look in her eyes during his last glimpse of her as the Falcon’s doors closed. She’d called him a monster more than once, and he’d never denied the charge, but to see that assessment reflected so clearly in her gaze....

His lightsaber flew into his hand, and he released his pent-up frustration in a roar as he sliced the blade through the table in front of him, cleaving it in twain.

It didn’t help.

Nothing helped.

Things hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. He was Supreme Leader. The galaxy was his to rule. He ought to be satisfied. Instead, he felt hollow. He hunted the rebels, continued with the plan, but it was only routine; his heart wasn’t in it. He’d let that scavenger girl make him weak. He needed to regain his strength and reignite his purpose. Until he’d accomplished that, he had to maintain the pretence of control.

It wouldn’t do to let Hux see there was anything wrong. That rabid cur would be on him, baying for blood, at the first sign of a crack in his armour, and there was no way he was letting Hux assume command of the First Order in his place.

All he needed was a little time. He would succeed in ridding her from his mind, one way or another.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey shivered, and tucked the fur cloak tighter around her shoulders. She would never get used to it—the cold, the ice. After spending most of her life on Jakku, she was accustomed to relentless heat, and the absence of warmth struck her to the bone. She couldn’t even recall the name of this awful planet, though she must have heard it in meetings. All she knew was that they were stuck here for the foreseeable future, so she had to grin and bear it. Leia believed the place to be secure, and Rey could see why. No one in their right mind would want to come here. At least her patrol was nearly over.

Her comm crackled to life, and she tugged it from her belt. “I’m here.”

She listened to Chewie’s instructions.

“Roger that. I’ll check it out before I head back.”

The scanners had detected movement in the next quadrant. It was probably nothing, but better safe than sorry.

She trudged through the snow. Her feet sank deep with each step, slowing her progress. Why couldn’t they have found a nice desert planet? Was that too much to ask? She tried to tell herself that her aversion to this world stemmed solely from its climate, but in her heart, she knew that it also had something to do with the fact that it reminded her too much of Starkiller Base, which, in turn, made her think of _him_.

Releasing a light curse under her breath helped steady her mind, and she pressed on. She was nearly at the spot Chewie had mentioned, so she needed to stay alert.

When she arrived at the coordinates, she halted and looked around. There was nothing but an expanse of white in all directions, and she had to scrunch her eyes against the glare as light bounced off its surface. She was reaching for her comm to call it in when a sudden movement atop a nearby incline caught her eye.

She shot her hand to the other side of her belt, but encountered only air. Her lightsaber was still in two pieces back at the base. She moved her fingers towards the butt of her blaster instead, only to pause and squint at the incline once more.

That was no stormtrooper. It was an animal.

Inching closer, she studied the creature. It was about half her size and covered in thick, fluffy white fur that formed a natural camouflage, allowing it to blend perfectly into its surroundings. It watched her approach with wary eyes but made no move to attack. Whatever it was, it seemed harmless.

Once she was within reach, she knelt and stretched her hand towards the creature. It startled at first, but after a moment, it relaxed into her touch. She stroked its head, a smile curving her lips.

“Hey, little guy. No need to be afraid of you, is there?”

Caught up in her new find, she didn’t notice they weren’t alone until a shadow fell over her. Startled, she started to turn, fumbling for her blaster, but something struck her back, sending her flying. The furry creature screamed. Rey slammed her head as she hit the ground. Then everything went black.

***

_“Wake up.”_

The voice was forceful, insistent, and Rey tried to obey. It was an effort, though, and when she finally managed to open her eyes, she gasped, her chest tightening. She’d gone blind!

_“It’s only the snowstorm. Your eyes will adjust.”_

She registered the storm then: the flurry of white, and the wind that lashed her body, pressing her down onto the snow. She blinked a few times, clearing the snowflakes from her lashes, and her vision did improve, letting her see her companion.

Immediately, she went for her blaster. But her limbs were sluggish, and her frozen fingers refused to bend.

_“You don’t need it. I’m not really there.”_

She could see that now. He knelt beside her, but the storm passed around him without so much as ruffling his hair.

“W-what are you d-doing here, s-snake?” The words felt heavy on her tongue, and her chattering teeth didn’t help matters.

_“I felt your fear. It reopened the bond.”_

“I-I’m n-not afraid.”

He frowned. _“You should be. If you stay here, you’ll be dead within the hour. Your heart has already slowed.”_

It was true, she realised. She could sense it.

_“You need shelter,”_ he continued. _“Dig yourself into the snow.”_

“W-what?”

_“It will shield you from the wind until help arrives. You can’t afford to lose any more body heat.”_

Grudgingly, she tried to do as he said, but she could barely move, let alone dig.

_“I can help.”_

She glared at him. “Why w-would you d-do that?”

There was a beat, and something passed across his face—a fleeting expression she couldn’t name. Then he shrugged. _“You want to die, then?”_

“No.” She gritted her teeth and tried to maintain her glower, but even those simple actions were becoming harder to perform as the chill settled into her bones.

He edged forward and extended his hand. When his gloved fingers brushed her arm, Rey gasped at the sudden patch of warmth, detectable despite their combined layers.

_“Draw strength from me.”_

To her surprise, Rey found that she could. Heat washed through her, loosening taut muscles, and at last she could force her body into action. He kept silent as she worked, but he maintained the contact, the phantom press of his fingers a reassuring, gentle weight.

Soon she was encased in snow on three sides, and it was good to be out of the biting wind. Without that chill factor, she felt instantly warmer. Or maybe that was due to something else, such as the hand still gripping her bicep. Unable to avoid it any longer, she looked up and met his gaze.

_“You still need help.”_ His expression remained impassive, and for some reason that irritated her.

“I’ll radio in.”

_“Not on that comm.”_

She glanced at her belt and saw what he meant. The device must have smashed during her fall. Its front casing was cracked and jagged, exposing the inner workings, which were probably half frozen by now.

_“You’ll have to use the Force to touch someone’s mind.”_

She shook her head. “I don’t know how to do that.”

_“You must do. You’ve done it before. How else did you escape from the chair?”_

It seemed a lifetime ago, but she knew to what chair he referred. She remembered speaking to the guard, feeling the touch of his mind against hers as she told him to release her. “The guard obeyed me.”

_“Exactly. But you don’t need persuasion this time, just contact.”_

“Leia would—”

_“No,”_ he snapped, then paused. _“Not her. Someone else. Someone who can come out here and get you.”_

“Poe Dameron, then.”

_“The pilot?”_ His tone had changed, and he released her arm, leaving a sudden chill in his wake. _“I suppose you would choose him.”_

“Okay. So how do I do this?”

_“Take my hand and I’ll guide you. Two of us will boost the connection.”_

She hesitated, but the need for survival trumped all other concerns and she did as he instructed. The fact that she was already shivering served to hide the tremor that ran through her at the touch. At least they were both wearing gloves. She wasn’t sure she could bear to feel his skin against hers again. Not after all that had happened.

_“Now, picture him in your mind. Reach out to him.”_

Rey did as he said, more than a little amazed when it worked on the second try. She felt Poe’s surprise as they connected, but to his credit, he quickly got over the shock. She gleaned from his thoughts that he was already outside in a snowspeeder. When the storm had whipped up without warning and she’d not returned, he and Finn had gone out looking for her. He was only three clicks away.

Kylo Ren had pulled back to the periphery of her mind as she spoke with Poe, and once she severed that link, he did likewise, releasing her hand. Although she hated herself for it, she couldn’t disavow the wave of loss and sense of abandonment that flooded through her.

Their eyes met once more. Then, without another word, he was gone.

***

Kylo Ren slammed shut his mind, severing the bond. He staggered back a few paces when the link closed, momentarily dizzy. It had taken a huge force of will to maintain his composure and not betray his feelings at seeing her lying there, near death. It was weakness, and he’d known he couldn’t let her see it. He didn’t like leaving her, but help had been close, and though he doubted anyone else would have seen him there, he couldn’t take that risk. Then there was the fact that he hadn’t wanted to see that arrogant flyboy being the one to come to her aid.

He clenched his fists and had to take a deep breath to restore his equilibrium. Of course she would call on Dameron. He was charming, handsome... a hero. And Rey was the sort of person who would be drawn to a hero. Did Dameron keep her warm at night on whatever cold planet they currently inhabited?

A thought occurred to him, cutting through the rage he refused to term jealousy. He’d been in her mind and, however briefly, in Poe Dameron’s. Why hadn’t he used that opportunity to ascertain their location? He could have plucked the planet’s name from their memories, along with any other secrets. Except, her plight had occupied him, to the exclusion of all else.

Weakness!

He fell to his knees and bowed his head. Vader’s mask was gone—lost in the destruction of Starkiller Base—but he reached for his grandfather’s memory.

“Lend me your strength. Help me see this through. Reveal again the power of the Dark Side. Guard me from the pull of the Light.”

There was no response—there never was—but merely speaking the words aloud helped centre him. He’d failed this time, true, but he could take something away from the day’s events. His connection to Rey was still there after all. He would be patient, and when it opened again, he would resist the temptation that lured him from his path and do what needed to be done. This time, he would not be seduced.


	3. Chapter 3

Several days passed, and still compliments flooded her way. Everyone Rey encountered as she moved around the base commented on her skill in surviving alone in the snowstorm. They thought her dismissal of their praise was a show of humility. Really, it was an attempt to hide her shame. She’d told no one of the part Kylo Ren had played in her survival. Luke and Snoke were the only ones who’d known of the strange bond between them, and neither remained to spill the secret. Nevertheless, she’d caught Leia looking at her intently a few times, as if searching for something, so now Rey avoided her as much as possible, fearful of what General Organa would see if she peered too deep.

At least there was no immediate threat to the Resistance. Poe had discovered the fluffy creature’s partially digested corpse not far from her location. Whatever had knocked her down had been a native predator looking for a meal, not a member of the First Order. So things continued as they had since their arrival at the frozen base. Every day they worked in shifts, patching up the few vehicles and consolidating what little technology and weaponry they possessed. Meanwhile, Leia sent regular messages to her supporters, calling for aid.

Rey knew she was not alone in her lack of belief in these so-called friends and allies. None had rushed to their assistance on Crait. Why would they do so now? She figured that Leia only continued with the broadcasts to maintain morale. If she stopped, it would be tantamount to admitting their small band was alone in their stand against Kylo Ren and the First Order.

As if the thought had summoned him, she felt the now-familiar tug of the Force and sensed his presence behind her. She turned slowly, warily, thankful that she was alone in her room and not in a public space.

_“It’s not snowing today?”_

“I’m inside.”

He made no response; however, he took a step closer. Rey’s instincts screamed at her to retreat, but she held her ground as he approached. She would not let him think that she feared him. Suddenly, something changed. He’d crossed some invisible line, and now, instead of wanting to step back, Rey found herself desperate to diminish the distance still between them.

_No!_

That wasn’t going to happen. Not again.

_“Don’t fight it. I feel it too.”_

He stretched out his hand and brushed gloved fingers over her cheek. A jolt ran through her, and even as she struggled to resist, her eyes fluttered closed.

_“Where are you? I see flashes—images of the landscape—but no name. Tell me where you are.”_

He pushed the last command a little too hard, and that was enough to restore Rey to her senses. What was she doing? He was trying to find her base, and she was mooning like a love-struck child! Well, his seduction routine was over.

She slammed up shields within her mind, forcing him back. His startled expression as she cut him off from her thoughts gave her a momentary feeling of triumph... until she remembered how close she’d come to betraying her friends. And all because of a single, barely tangible caress. She was pathetic.

_“How did you conceal the name?”_

There was a hint of awe in his voice, so she didn’t reply. Let him think that it was down to her skill in the Force rather than the fact that her attention strayed in meetings. Thank the stars she couldn’t recall which planet they were on. Her bad memory was the only thing that had saved them from annihilation.

“Get out of here, Kylo Ren.” She spat out his name like it left a bad taste in her mouth—which it did—and turned away.

_“Wait.”_

She wanted to ignore him, but something in his tone made her hesitate. For a second, he’d sounded like he had before—like Ben.

_“Are you... well?”_

“What?” She spun to face him once more. “Are you seriously asking after my health after trying to rape my mind? Do you hope to bore me into submission with small talk? Or are you expecting some kind of grovelling gratitude because of what happened the other day?”

_“No.”_ He didn’t say which question he was answering, but he lowered his gaze and she noticed a faint tick in his cheek. _“I just want to know if you’re alright.”_

“I’m fine. Are we done now?”

There was a pause. Then raised his head and nodded.

Their eyes met, and suddenly it was the way it had been back in the hut. He looked confused, lost... and she couldn’t help herself.

“I _am_ grateful.”

The shadow of a smile crossed his lips before he disappeared, and she saw no hint of gloating in it.

Alone again, she sank onto her bunk and buried her head in her hands. What had just happened? What was she doing? What was _he_ doing? It had to be a trick. But if so, what was his plan? Conversely, if that glimpse of Ben she’d seen towards the end of their conversation had been genuine, what did it mean?

With more questions than answers keeping her mind on edge, she knew she was going to pass a restless night.

***

“Supreme Leader.”

There was a hint of irritation in the voice, as if the words had been spoken more than once, and it pulled Kylo Ren out of his trance.

He tapped the console in front of him, accepting the call. “What is it, Hux?”

“A lead on the rebels.”

“You have their location?” He wasn’t sure if the tightness in his chest was from elation or fear.

“We have the name of the system. One of their former allies offered it up in exchange for immunity.” Kylo Ren could hear the smug smile in Hux’s voice. “It won’t take long to find the correct planet.”

_It’s an ice world._

The words were on the tip of his tongue, but at the last moment, he changed his mind and held them back.

“Supreme Leader?”

“Get back to work, General. Keep me informed of your progress.” He severed the connection before he could change his mind again.

Without his information, it could take several days for Hux to trace the exact planet housing the Resistance base. That was time in which he could decide what to do. When he found her, what _would_ he do?

The lack of clarity gnawed at him. He’d thought his days of feeling torn apart would be over once Snoke was no more. Instead, his indecision was only getting worse. He should let Hux find the planet and blow it to smithereens, killing the rebels. Then there would be no external threat to his rule, nothing to stand in his way. And yet, what then? What would he do after that? When he’d made his plan in the throne room, he’d not expected to be doing this alone.

With so much to consider, he doubted he would be getting any sleep that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Poe Dameron completed the punch line of his joke, and they all laughed. Finn slipped his arm around Rose’s waist as they made their way down the corridor. Seeing Rose lean into the touch yanked at Rey’s heart. She was truly happy for them. Yet, she couldn’t dispel the flicker of jealousy. Not because she wanted Finn—they were friends, nothing more—but because, when she looked into her future, she couldn’t see such easy contentment in store for her.

The sudden, urgent tug of the Force halted her steps. She dropped away from the others, and turned to find Kylo Ren facing her.

_“We need to talk.”_

“Rey? What’s wrong?”

A glance over her shoulder revealed Poe scouring the corridor, a frown creasing his brow. However, he said nothing, so clearly she was the only one who saw the interloper in their midst. Finn and Rose had turned now too. All three gazed at her expectantly.

“Nothing’s wrong.” She forced a smile. No way was she doing this with him today. And certainly not here and now. “I’m coming.”

She barely made it two steps before his hand closed around her arm. The contact sent shivers down her spine which she tried to pretend stemmed from irritation.

_“You’re in danger.”_

She twisted towards, but the protest she’d planned died on her lips when she met his gaze, finally taking in his appearance. His eyes were wild, underscored by dark circles, and his skin had a deathly pallor. He looked frantic.

“You know what?” she called to the others, trying to keep her voice light. “I _have_ forgotten something. I’ll catch you up.”

“We can wait,” Finn offered.

“No. Go on ahead. I’ll only be a minute.”

She waited until they were out of sight before returning her attention to Kylo Ren. He still gripped her arm, his fingers pressing into her flesh in a way that probably would have been uncomfortable had he truly been present.

_“They know where you are.”_

“They?”

He loosed an exasperated huff. _“We, then. Hux has your stupid snow world in his sights. We’re on our way there now. You have two hours at most—probably less.”_

“And why, exactly, are you telling me this?”

He hesitated, and released her arm. _“I don’t know.”_

“If it’s a trap—”

_“It’s not a trap.”_ He stepped back, his form already fading. _“Get out while you can.”_

For a moment, Rey stood there, unsure what to think or do. This was Kylo Ren; she couldn’t trust him. It might well be a tactical manoeuvre—a ploy to get them to reveal their position. Except... through the bond she’d felt conflict, desperation, even a hint of fear. And his expression had mirrored that. Generally, he wasn’t good at concealing his emotions. It was probably why he’d hidden behind that mask for so long. Perhaps a skilled performer could have faked what she’d seen and felt, but while Kylo Ren was many things, an actor he was not.

She dashed through the base, heading towards central command. When she burst into the control room, a dozen pairs of startled eyes looked up at her.

“The First Order is coming. We have to leave. Now.”

Several people tried to speak at once, until Leia raised her hand for silence.

“How do you know this, Rey?”

Under Leia’s keen gaze, Rey faltered. Should she tell the truth? But who would trust her once they knew she held secret talks with the enemy? No. Better to keep the source of the information to herself.

“I felt it.” She gave a vague wave of her hand. “Through the Force.”

It wasn’t a lie so much as an omission.

Leia gave her a long, steady look, before nodding. “How long do we have?”

“Less than two hours.”

“Then let’s be gone in one.” Leia rose, and raised her voice so all could hear. “We must trust in the Force, and in Rey. Everyone, prepare for a full evacuation.”

The next hour was a blur. People flew to and fro, packing equipment, getting as much as they could carry into the Falcon. It wasn’t a panic, but no one took the danger for granted. Only once they’d jumped to lightspeed did Rey allow herself a moment to catch her breath. Even as they’d packed, she’d not been certain it wasn’t all for nothing. But then a communication had reached them: the First Order had been sighted not far from their coordinates. They’d made it out just in time. Whatever his motives, Kylo Ren hadn’t lied.

***

“You let them escape?”

“Supreme Leader, it wasn’t my fault. We know they were there. Someone must have warned them of our approach.”

“A feeble excuse. If you cannot manage to destroy a rag-tag band of rebels, maybe I should find someone who can.” He let the threat hang in the air.

Hux swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “They can’t have gone far. We’ll pick up their scent again.”

“See that you do, General. I will not stand for any further incompetence.”

Hux, pale-faced, gave a stiff bow and departed. Kylo Ren heard him barking orders as he went, and a faint smile curved his lips. Even though he knew it was petty, he couldn’t help but draw a certain satisfaction from making Hux squirm. The bastard had never liked him. How it must grate him to have to bow before someone he despised. Kylo Ren knew the feeling; he done it himself.

The smile faded as his thoughts darkened. What was he doing, sabotaging his own plans? He conjured a mental image of Rey escaping and compared it to one of her lying dead in the rubble. He knew which he preferred. Nevertheless, that left him in a predicament. Hux would find the Resistance again eventually. What was he to do then?

During the last few days, the pull to the Light had grown stronger. It weakened him, clouding his judgment. Yet, there was something welcoming about it too. It offered warmth and the promise of something... better.

He stripped off his robes and strode into the ’fresher. The pounding spray offered a modicum of relief, and he closed his eyes and braced himself against the wall, directly beneath the stream, letting the sound and feel of the water soothe him.

A choice was coming; he could sense it. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t know which path he’d take when the time came. However, deep down, he got the distinct impression that the decision wouldn’t be his alone to make.


	5. Chapter 5

When he’d come to her a second time, bearing another warning, Rey hadn’t hesitated to act upon his words, and once again they’d escaped before the First Order could reach them. During the third visit, he’d stayed a little longer. He’d enquired after her lightsaber, and she’d shown him the broken pieces. The Jedi books were too obscurely phrased for her to follow—more philosophical treatises than instruction manuals—but he’d helped her make sense of the instructions, and now a working weapon hung from her belt once more. Not only had he aided them in another escape, he’d armed her.

At the fourth encounter, after he’d issued his warning, she’d commented on how convenient it was that the connection between them always opened just in time. He’d bowed his head before answering. It seemed their meetings were no longer random but occurred whenever he wished. That first time, he’d been frantic, waiting for the link between them to come alive, and finally, in his desperation, he’d reached for her—and found her. He claimed that it grew easier each time.

That gave her pause. But only for a moment.

He’d made no further attempts to invade her mind during their interactions, and he only ever showed up when there was trouble brewing. He’d even started to give her some warning before his arrival, so she had time to find a private spot where they could talk unnoticed.

That was why, having just felt the familiar, pleasant spark in the air around her, she’d mumbled an excuse, left the control room, and located an empty storage closet.

“Okay. I’m alone.”

The wave of joy that washed through her when he appeared was something she no longer tried to deny. She knew it was probably madness to hope, but there was something different about him. With each visit, the presence of the Light grew stronger, diminishing the darkness he’d exuded formerly. When she looked at him now, the lines blurred. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo—suddenly they were one and the same. He was neither good nor evil. He was simply... him. Neither of them ever mentioned it, but she knew they both sensed it.

As always, he got straight down to business.

_“Hux has locked on to your system again. He still needs to find the planet, but it’s only a matter of time.”_

“I’ll tell the others.”

He nodded. For a moment, she thought he was going to say something more, but then he gave a small shake of his head. _“I should go.”_

“So soon?” The words slipped out before she could stop them.

_“It’s for the best.”_ He started to fade, though he never took his eyes off her.

A surge of feeling welled up, and she shot forward. “Ben, wait.”

She caught his hand. It was the first time they’d pressed bare skin to bare skin through the Force since Ach-To, and the sensation was as powerful as an electric shock, yet with none of the associated pain. Instead, she felt at peace and whole, and from the expression on his face, she was certain that he was experiencing the same thing.

“Ben.”

She tugged him closer, and he came without a word. Their fingers entwined, their energies connection and interflowing as they stood chest to chest. Breathing synced, they stared into each other’s eyes. He reached out with his free hand and sent a waft of energy to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and she moved hers to his shoulder, feeling the frisson through the Force as he shuddered at her touch.

“Come to me, Ben. Come to us.”

He flinched, and for a moment she thought she’d pushed too soon, that the Light was not yet strong enough within him. However, his expression was one of regret, not rage.

_“I can’t.”_

“Why?”

_“If I step away, Hux will take control, and there’ll be no one to warn you.”_

“So help us end the First Order once and for all. When it’s gone, there’ll no longer be any threat.”

_“I don’t know how, Rey. Not yet. It will take time, thought....”_

“We’ll find a way. Together. I won’t leave you again.”

She wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but in the next moment, they were kissing. It was tentative at first, but then he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tight against him. The kiss deepened, and the rest of the world fell away. There was only the shadow-touch of his lips and hands, and the pulsing heat of the Force bond as it surged between them, around them, within them.

Suddenly, Ben leapt back. His gaze shot to the right, fixing on something she couldn’t see. He looked aghast.

“Ben?” She failed to keep the note of panic from her voice.

He glanced back towards her, eyes wide. Then he was gone.

***

“I knew someone was working with the rebels. I’ve long had my suspicions, but now, at last, I have the proof I need to bring you down, Ren.”

Kylo Ren’s heart was pounding, but he straightened his back and squared his shoulders, sneering at Hux. “You have nothing, General. And how dare you enter my rooms without permission. I am Supreme Leader. My private affairs are none of your concern. Go back to your post.”

“And let you continue to betray the First Order? I think not.”

“Don’t cross me.” He reached for anger but couldn’t find it, his mind still too caught up in that kiss. “You know nothing of my plans.”

“You want me to believe that contacting that filthy scavenger girl and doing...”—Hux paused to smirk—“... whatever it was you were doing with her is part of some master plan? You must think me a fool.”

“The girl is merely the means to an end. If I can earn her trust, she’ll lead us to the rebels—something you’ve failed to do. She means nothing to me.”

“That’s not how it sounded to me.” Hux held his ground. “I think you have feelings for that little whore.”

At last, the darkness within him ignited, and Kylo Ren reached for the Force. He fastened a tight grip around Hux’s throat and squeezed. Hux spluttered, feet kicking as Kylo Ren raised him off the ground.

He hadn’t wanted to resort to this. Hux had supporters. Kylo Ren had hoped to get rid of him quietly when the time came, in a way that wouldn’t lead to dissent within the ranks. But now he had no choice. Hux wasn’t going to let this drop. He’d heard too much, and Kylo Ren had to silence him.

“Now!” Hux’s command came out as a garbled croak, but a second later, the door to the room flew open.

Kylo Ren dropped Hux and spun to face the new threat. His lightsaber was in his hand in an instant, and he blocked the first few blasts as stormtroopers poured into his chamber. However, he was vastly outnumbered, and with the constant barrage of fire, one of them finally got lucky. The shot caught him on the shoulder, knocking him back. Another hit him, and another.

The last thing he saw as he fell was the smug expression on Hux’s face.


	6. Chapter 6

When Kylo Ren regained consciousness, his first emotion was surprise, followed by elation. Hux’s men had carried only stun blasters. It had been a dangerous miscalculation on Hux’s part. He’d have done better to kill Kylo Ren while he had the chance, because he would not get a second opportunity.

Kylo Ren shifted slightly to ascertain his surroundings. He was strapped into one of the First Order’s torture chairs. The memory surfaced of Rey trapped in a similar way as he tried to force secrets from her mind. He brushed aside the remembrance. He couldn’t afford to dwell on her at present. It was Ben Solo whose thoughts always turned to Rey. In this moment, he needed to be Kylo Ren.

He willed the cuffs open, already planning what he would do to Hux when he got his hands on him. But something was wrong. He remained bound. Gathering his focus, he tried again, pushing against the restraints at the same time. Still they didn’t budge.

“That’s not going to work.” Hux stepped into view from somewhere behind him.

That was impossible. How could he not have known Hux was there? He should have been able to sense him.

“Do you like the new chair?” Hux asked. “I sourced the best craftsmen in the galaxy to make it just for you. It emits a Force-neutral pulse. Amazing technology! As long as you’re seated there, there’ll be no mind tricks.”

Kylo Ren stifled the wave of panic, burying it deep. He glared at Hux. “I don’t need mind tricks to destroy you.”

Hux laughed. “You can stop your posturing. We both know you’re nothing without the Force.” He held up Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. “Stripped of your fancy sword and mind control, you’re only a weak, petulant little boy.” He tucked the weapon back into his belt. “Now, shall we begin?”

He crossed to the control panel and tapped a few buttons, and Kylo Ren screamed as pain like none he’d ever known coursed through him. At first, he could hear Hux’s laughter in the background, but soon nothing remained except excruciating agony.

***

The evacuation occupied Rey for a while. Although by now they had it down to a fine art, there was still a lot to organise, and she had to play her part. Nevertheless, her thoughts kept straying to Ben. What had happened to make him leave so abruptly? And why hadn’t he come back to let her know all was well? He must have seen that she was worried. But perhaps he didn’t view it that way. Maybe she wouldn’t hear from him again until the next First Order advance. That last thought didn’t ring true, and a shiver ran through her. Something was wrong; she knew it.

She shifted the last of the equipment into the Falcon, then retreated to a dark corner at the back of the hold where she wouldn’t be disturbed. If Ben could find her through the Force, she ought to be able to reverse the process. She’d just make contact long enough to establish that he was alright.

Rey reached out with her mind as Luke had taught her all those long months ago. However, frustration bubbled in her gut when she got no response. Ben had made it seem so easy. Maybe she was doing it wrong.

She tried again, forming a clear picture of him in her mind and concentrating on that, seeking him through the Force, willing a connection, demanding it.

The pain made her double over, and she had to grab the corner of a nearby crate to stop herself from falling. Agony travelled down her every nerve, and screams, raw and desperate, filled her head.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but even after the connection cut out, Rey was still reeling from the aftereffects. That had been Ben’s pain. She’d sensed him there, even though the screams had rendered his voice unrecognisable. He’d not spoken to her, but perhaps he’d not realised she was present, too lost in the pain to notice anything. This connection had been different from those they’d shared before, in any case. She’d not been able to see him. She’d only felt what he felt, as if trapped inside his head, unable to get any farther.

The First Order must have discovered what he’d done to help the Resistance. That was the only explanation. She had no idea how they’d managed to take him prisoner, but clearly his life was now in danger. They couldn’t let him die.  
She charged through the hold, back to where the others were making the final preparations for departure.

“Stop! Stop! We can’t leave.”

Leia looked up from her charts, concern in her eyes. “Rey? What’s wrong?”

“We can’t run anymore. We have to face them.”

Poe stepped forward. “It’s too dangerous, Rey. And if _I_ say that, you have to know it’s true. I don’t like to run, but if we take a stand now, without a strategy in place, they’d wipe us out in seconds.”

“That’s right,” a voice called out from the back. “We must stick to our current tactics until we can rebuild our forces. It’s our only option.”

“Running won’t work anymore. This is the last time we’ll get advance warning of an attack.” Rey focused on Leia, pleading with her eyes, willing her to understand. “If we are ever going to stop them, it has to be here and now. _That’s_ our only chance.”

“Us and what army?” Finn asked. “We’re outnumbered.”

Rey faced Finn. “If we take out their leaders, what will the stormtroopers do? Would they keep fighting?”

“Some will.” He tilted his head, considering. “But without direct orders, most would probably stand down if challenged.”

“Then we don’t need to kill every stormtrooper on the ship. We just eliminate their leaders and assume control. And... well....” She drew in a deep breath. “We have someone on the inside who can help us with that. It’s how I’ve been getting information on the planned attacks—he’s been warning me.”

“One man’s not going to make much of a difference,” Poe said, shaking his head.

“ _This_ man will.” She dashed through the words, the memory of Ben’s pain still forefront in her mind. How much longer did he have? “In fact, without him we’ll never win. He’s our last hope. Only, they’ve discovered his betrayal and taken him prisoner, so we have to rescue him first.”

“Who exactly _is_ this guy?” Finn asked.

Rey glanced at Leia. “Ben Solo.”

The room erupted, everyone talking at once. As Rey looked about her, she saw a lot of angry faces and sensed their feelings of hurt and betrayal. She supposed she should have expected that. However, recriminations would have to wait. They didn’t have time for accusations and judgement at present.

“Listen!” she shouted. “Everyone, please listen.”

“Kylo Ren?” Poe interjected before she could continue. His expression was a blend of incredulity and ire. “You’ve been in contact with that bastard this whole time and didn’t bother to tell anyone? Rey, that man tortured me. He’s pure evil.” He shot a glance to his left. “Sorry, Leia, but it’s true.”

“It’s not,” Rey said, trying to keep her voice firm and sure. “He’s changed. _He’s_ the one being tortured now, and if you’d felt his pain through the Force as I just did....” She swayed as the memory of his agony overwhelmed her. How long could someone live through that?

“Are you certain he’d take our side?”

Everyone quietened at Leia’s question, and Rey steadied herself and turned to face her.

“I am. The Light is strong in him now. He’ll stand with me... with us. If we can only get to him, we can turn the tide.”

The silence was stifling as Rey awaited Leia’s verdict. She’d go to free Ben alone if it came down to that, but she’d prefer for this to be a final battle, rather than the first of many.

“We’ll need a plan,” Leia said at length.

Rey’s relief was palpable. “Then let’s make one.”


	7. Chapter 7

When the pain stopped—whether after minutes or hours, he couldn’t tell—Kylo Ren slumped. He was momentarily grateful for the restraints. Without them he’d have sunk to his knees, and he hated the thought of Hux seeing him beaten and broken.  
“Finished so soon?” His voice came out as a croak, but he was proud of himself for managing to speak at all. His satisfaction doubled when Hux glowered.

“It’s dinner time. I’ll be back in an hour to start again.”

Left alone, Kylo Ren made another attempt at his bonds. It proved as futile as the last. Hux was right in one thing: without the Force, he was weak. But it was more than that. For years he’d felt the Force everywhere, in everything. It had become a familiar sensation. Now there was a piece missing—an aching void he couldn’t fill. An emptiness that tasted of despair.

Hux returned.

Had it really been an hour?

In some ways, the second time was easier, since he knew what to expect. However, the pain seemed ten times worse in his already-weakened state. He wished he could have borne it stoically, in silence; that would have angered Hux no end. Sadly, he couldn’t. The screams provided a modicum of relief, though his voice grew hoarse and his parched throat grated.

This time, a knock on the door interrupted Hux. He left to speak with the stormtrooper, only to stride back into the room a moment later, a gleeful look upon his face.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to take another break. The Millennium Falcon is in our sights, Ren. Soon I’ll have your little girlfriend to play with too.” After flashing Kylo Ren a sickening smile, he departed.

_Rey._

Why hadn’t she gotten away this time? Had something gone wrong? Or was it a lie? Hux could be playing him—a mental torture to accompany the physical one. That had to be it. She wouldn’t have ignored his warnings.

He wondered how she’d feel about his death. Because die he would, whether after one more session or five. He accepted that with the equanimity of spirit owed to a foregone conclusion. After all, there was only so much strain a body could take, especially without being able to draw energy from the Force. Would she feel his passing through their bond? Would she be sad or relieved? Maybe a little of both? He’d done some terrible things. Perhaps this was a form of justice.

His mind drifted awhile, his thoughts slipping from past to present and back again. He heard a thump, but it sounded far off, so he brushed it aside and returned to his mental meanderings, taking solace in memories and dreams while he could.

***

“Even I couldn’t come up with a plan this crazy.”

Rey glanced at Poe, then returned her focus to the door. “You don’t think it’s going to work?”

“No, it’s not that. I always assume every plan is going to work—that’s by far the best attitude. Doesn’t make this one any less nuts.”

“Quiet, Poe,” Leia gently chided. She turned to Rey. “Are you sure you can do this? It’s almost too late to turn back.”

“I can do it. I have to.”

“Then may the Force be with you.”

The ship shuddered, caught in the Star Destroyer’s tractor beam. Their fake-engine-failure bait had worked, and now there was no time to change their minds.

Leia gave Rey a final pat on the shoulder. “Good luck, both of you. I must join the others.”

Another jolt told them that they were now inside the Star Destroyer’s hangar. A moment later, banging from outside announced the imminent arrival of visitors.

Rey clasped Poe’s hand, closed her eyes, and concentrated.

_We are not here. You don’t see us. We are not here. You don’t see us._

The door slid open and a squad of stormtroopers entered, blasters at the ready. They passed Rey and Poe without sparing them a second glance and headed farther into the ship.

“That’s some trick,” Poe whispered once the soldiers were out of sight.

“Don’t speak too soon. We still have to make it to the lifts.”

Rey continued her mantra as they crept down the gangplank and into the hangar. Stormtroopers surrounded the ship, and in the distance, she spotted Hux advancing towards them. _Better get moving._

They proceeded as fast as they dared in the direction of the elevators. Once inside the car, Rey released her hold on Poe and let up a little, mentally drained.

“I can’t keep going with this much longer.”

“Then don’t. We’ll manage the rest the old fashioned way.” He plucked his blaster from its holster and waved it. “We’re sure this is where he’ll be?” he asked as he punched the button to select a floor.

“Finn said all detention cells are on the same level, and I know he’s a prisoner. That’s where they kept me on the way to Starkiller Base.”

“Yeah, and me.”

They fell silent. Nonetheless, Rey could sense Poe’s real question. He wanted to know if Rey was certain this wasn’t a trap. But that wasn’t a conversation Rey was willing to have. She couldn’t be completely sure of anything; she could only judge by what she’d seen, heard, and felt, and follow her instincts. And her gut told her that Ben wouldn’t betray her.

The lift stopped, and they made ready to fight. However, when the door opened, the corridor was empty. They stepped out and followed the hallway, checking each room they passed. All the cells were bare, and the farther they walked, the more Rey’s chest constricted. Where was he? He had to be here somewhere.

When they reached a turn, Poe glanced around the bend, then ducked back. “There’s a guard outside the door at the far end. That’s gotta be the one.”

Rey moved her hand towards her lightsaber, but Poe shook his head and raised his blaster. “I’ve got this.”

Poe was an excellent shot, and the only sound was the thump as the guard hit the floor.

They dashed to the door, and Rey jabbed at the control panel. The light stayed resolutely red.

“Finn and Rose were sure this code would work.”

“With such a high-profile prisoner, they probably added an extra level of security. Stand back.”

A direct blaster strike fried the circuits and the door opened. Rey raced inside, only to skid to a halt.

It was worse than she’d imagined. Ben was strapped to a chair like the one he’d had her in so long ago. His eyes were closed, and only the shallow rise and fall of his chest told her he was still breathing. He was wan and limp, and a trail of dried blood ran from his nose, over his lips, and down his chin.

“Ben?” She stepped closer and reached for him through the Force, but all she encountered in the vicinity of the chair was a strange hollow space—a nothingness.

Rey closed the remaining distance between them. She wanted to touch him, but she didn’t yet dare. First, they needed him conscious. Their plan couldn’t work all the while he was like this. She briefly wondered if he was up to a fight at all, but it wouldn’t do to dwell on that. Without him, they were all doomed.

She tried again. “Ben? Ben, can you hear me? You need to wake up. Ben!”


	8. Chapter 8

_Rey._

Kylo Ren forced open his heavy eyelids and blinked, trying to focus on the face before him. It was her voice he’d heard. That meant only one thing: this was a dream.

“We need to get him out of here.”

Rey had turned to speak to someone to her right, and Kylo Ren followed the line of her gaze. Poe Dameron? Why would he be dreaming of him, of all people?

“I’m still not sure about this, Rey.”

Kylo Ren fixed Poe with a glare. This dream was not going the way he would have liked. He’d have preferred it to have been only him and Rey. Plus, he didn’t want to feel so achy, nor have the bitter taste of blood in his mouth.

“Poe, this was always the plan... and look at him.”

“I see him. I just don’t trust him.”

Rey clasped Poe’s arm. “Then trust me.”

After a second’s hesitation, Poe nodded. He moved to the console and tapped a few buttons. A frown creased his brow when he looked back in their direction. “It won’t open without Hux’s authorisation.”

“Then we have to do it the hard way.”

Rey faced him and stretched out her hand. Concentration was writ large on her face. He could see the effort it was costing her in the tight line of her lips. What had she been doing prior to this? She looked exhausted. The metal surrounding his wrists and ankles started to shudder and chime. Rey stepped closer. She drew back her upper lip in a snarl that turned into a cry. Then the clasps shot open.

It was overpowering. Kylo Ren sucked in a deep, gasping breath as the Force rushed through him once more. It filled the void through which he’d laboured, streaming along nerves and muscles, awakening his aching flesh, as if bringing him back to life.

In that moment, he finally realised that this was no dream. Rey was really here. She had come for him. He staggered out of the chair, half falling into her arms and half pulling her into his. Her lips met his, and he groaned. If the kiss they’d shared through their Force bond had been amazing, this was sublime. Rather than shadow, he felt heat. Rather than a strange viscous quality in the air, she was solid against him. Poe Dameron made a strangled sound somewhere to their right, but Kylo Ren ignored it, continuing the embrace until he had to pause to draw breath.

“Are you alright,” Rey asked once they did break apart.

There was a pleasing flush to her cheeks, but the critical way she raked her eyes over him, looking for injuries, helped him master his emotions and focus. There would be time to catalogue Rey’s beauties later. Or at least he hoped so. All the while she was here, however, she was in danger, and he still needed to deal with Hux.

“Ben? Are you hurt?” she pressed.

“It’s nothing.”

It wasn’t. His whole body ached, and the memory of the agony he’d endured remained fresh in the forefront of his mind. But he’d fought through pain before, and he could do it again.

She must have read the truth behind the lie because she pursed her lips. But she didn’t try to contradict him. Probably because she, too, knew that this was not the time. As long as he was on two feet and able to wield a weapon, he was good enough for now. They could pause to lick their wounds at a later date.

“Why couldn’t you have freed yourself?” Dameron still eyed him warily, though Kylo Ren supposed it was impressive that he wasn’t aiming a blaster. Clearly Dameron did trust Rey to quite an extent.

“The chair was modified. It cut me off from the Force.” He hesitated, but then gave a faint nod. “Thank you, Commander, for your assistance.”

He glimpsed Dameron’s surprised expression in the corner of his eye, but his main focus rested on the chair. Memory of the horror it had inflicted crested on a wave of rage. Hux would not be using it again. He reached for the Force, channelling all his anger and pain, and roared as he ripped the device to pieces. The sound of tearing metal was deafening, but the act was deeply satisfying. When he was done, he stared in silence at the destruction at his feet. Until Rey tentatively brushed his arm.

“Ben?” Her tone was gentle but urgent. “We have to move. Your mother and the others are here, captured. We need to help them.”

He closed his eyes and reached out. Yes, he could detect her presence. She was close by, only a few levels separating them. It had been a long time since he’d felt her so near. She was defiant, but also worried. He sensed Hux there, too, and he curled his hands into fists.

“Uh, Rey? Is he Ben Solo now or Kylo Ren?” Dameron had tried to whisper the question, but Kylo Ren heard it anyway.

He opened his eyes and fixed Dameron with his gaze. “It’s Kylo Ren you want for this.”

***

Rey was concerned. Reconnecting with the Force had strengthened Ben, but he was still in pain, despite his assertions to the contrary. She could feel it running through him, repressed but ever present. Poe caught her eye as they followed Ben out of the room, and she noted his continued unease. He wasn’t sure what to make of the situation, and she couldn’t blame him. She’d registered his shock when she and Ben had kissed. It was a lot to take on board, especially in the middle of a combat situation. Her lips still tingled from Ben’s touch. But now really wasn’t the time to dwell on such things.

“Where’s your lightsaber?” she asked Ben as she reached for her own, holding it in readiness.

“Hux has it. But not for long.”

“You’ll need a weapon till then,” Poe said, holding out a blaster.

Ben waved away the offer. “I am the weapon.”

Rey soon saw what he meant. As they headed back towards the elevators, two stormtroopers raced down the corridor. She and Poe adopted defensive positions, but Ben kept walking. He deflected their blasts then picked them up and slammed them against opposite walls. They fell to the ground, insensible. When Ben glanced over his shoulder at her, his blank expression made his bloodstained face look like a mask. That should have panicked her, but it didn’t. Through the Force, she sensed that his intent was to protect them, and he was doing that the only way he knew how: by focusing his rage.

She and Poe stood idly by while Ben took out several more guards. However, their passage was remarkably easy. The reason for that became clear when they snuck towards the Falcon.

It seemed that the entire crew had been summoned to witness the executions. That had to be what this was, because her friends knelt in a tight row while Hux sauntered before them, spouting a good deal of nonsense about victory and destiny.

Rey turned to Ben. “Who do we need to take down to bring this to a close?”

“See that group directly behind Hux, in the centre? Those are his most loyal commanders.”

“Only eight of them. That’s not so bad,” Poe ventured, adjusting his grip on his blaster.

“Stormtroopers will come to their aid,” Ben said. “It’s what they’re trained to do.”

“Finn thinks most will surrender if their leaders fall.”

“Finn?” Ben frowned. “Oh, you mean FN-2187. You won’t find that all the First Order’s soldiers are like him.”

“We go for the leaders first and hope for the best,” Rey said. “That was always the plan. Once we create enough chaos to offer them some cover, the others will join us in the fight.” She took another look at the scene before them, steadying her nerves. “If you two tackle the main group, I’ll stop Hux.”

“No.” Ben’s grip on her arm was tight enough to make her wince. “Hux is mine.”


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo Ren kept Hux in his sights as he charged. The unexpected appearance of three figures in the midst of the execution took all present by surprise, gaining them several precious moments of confusion before battle commenced in earnest. As he drew closer to Hux, Kylo Ren stretched out his hand for his lightsaber. It jerked free from Hux’s belt and flew into his grasp, once more an extension of his hand.

“Guards!” The panic in Hux’s voice made him smile, even as his quarry disappeared behind a sea of white armour.

He moved on pure instinct, letting the Force flow through him, guiding his movements. Darkness consumed him as he slashed and sliced. He gave no quarter, taking down anyone who dared to stand between him and Hux. He was vaguely aware of the ensuing battle behind him—enough to sense that Rey was alright—but revenge was all that really mattered to him in that moment, and his world reduced to red and black, blood and death.

Eventually, Hux ran out of protectors willing to die for him. The few remaining stormtroopers in the immediate vicinity backed away, choosing survival over duty, and Hux stood trembling before him. He held a blaster, but a wave of Kylo Ren’s hand set that flying across the room.

“Supreme Leader.” Hux dropped to his knees. “I surrender. I admit, I made a mistake, an error in judgement, and I will make whatever amends—”

“An error indeed, General Hux.” Kylo Ren raised his lightsaber, ready to strike. He relished the moment—the fear in Hux’s eyes. He would kill him slowly, letting him feel every moment of it.

“Ben, wait!”

He heard Rey’s words, and registered her presence nearby, but the voice in his head whispered that he should ignore her. This was none of her concern. She would not deny him his vengeance. A tidal wave of rage and pain crashed through him, and he almost gave in to it. Nevertheless, with her image in his mind, he made a single concession. He brought the blade down in a sweeping arc, slicing Hux’s head from his shoulders in a clean blow—a far easier death than Hux had deserved.

Instant regret that he’d let himself be swayed from his just path ate into him, and the Dark side of the Force fed off his emotions. It gloried in the death and destruction that surrounded him. And it spoke to him of power. With his only serious rival gone, the galaxy belonged to him.

“Ben?”

Her voice cut through the whispers, tugging him out of the darkness and back towards the Light. He sank willingly into their connection and slowly turned to face her. It was only then that he noticed the silence, and felt all eyes in the room upon him.

***

Engaged in fierce battle, Rey had not been watching Ben. With the help of their friends, she and Poe had successfully killed or subdued all the leaders, and with their commanders defeated, many of the remaining stormtroopers had stood down, just as Finn had predicted. It was a resounding victory. Although, she suspected that seeing their Supreme Leader fighting on the side of the rebels had likely helped sway them towards easier acquiescence.

As soon as the fight ended, she sought Ben, only to experience a shiver of shock at what she found. A pile of bodies surrounded him—easily twice as many as littered the rest of the hangar—and he stood over Hux, his lightsaber raised.

“Ben, wait!” she called, trying to think two steps ahead. Hux could be put on trial. He might have information that would be of use to them.

But before she could reach him, Ben swung the blade, and Hux’s head rolled across the floor.

Bile rose in her throat, but she swallowed her revulsion and reached for his mind. A powerful, dark rage consumed him, mingled with pain and suffering.

She glanced around the room. The tension was palpable, anxiety radiating through the Force from both sides. Everyone was watching Ben, wary, waiting to see what he would do. She saw several fighters from her own side pointing their blasters at him. Only their confusion over whether he was still the enemy held them in check. If they fired, in his current state, she couldn’t predict how he would react. The situation hung on a knife’s point, and she needed to diffuse it fast.

She stepped closer and pushed harder at their connection. “Ben?”

He shuddered, and a spark of light cut through the darkness within him. The sight brought her such relief she could have cried. As the Light grew stronger, he turned to face her, and when their eyes met, he extinguished his blade and lowered the weapon to his side.

Rey hurried to his side, making sure to put herself between him and the few blasters still aimed in his direction. “It’s over, Ben. We won. It’s time to leave.”

“Leave? You still want me to go with you? After this?” He gestured to the carnage at his feet. “I can’t be who you want me to be. I feel the pull to the Light. But the darkness is strong. It will never leave me.”

“The Dark side calls to me too. Luke sensed it when we first met, and it scared him. But I think he was wrong. I think all Jedi lore is wrong. The sacred texts talk of the need for balance, but they see things only in black and white, as Dark and Light. They treat them as a choice—one or the other. But what if real balance is accepting both? You are Ben Solo, but you’re also Kylo Ren. You can find a way for your two selves to coexist, and you don’t have to do it alone.” She extended her hand. “Join me. We can do it together.”

She sensed confusion and denial in his mind... but also hope, and she held her breath as he dropped his lightsaber and reached towards her.

When their fingers touched, she glimpsed their future—not as Jedi, not as Sith, but as something in between. There was harmony. There was perfect balance. And there was love.

Rey melted against him, and his kiss echoed his dual nature, somehow both searing and gentle, hungry yet patient. She wanted more. She wanted to feel his skin. She wanted him closer, deeper. His thoughts and emotions told her that he craved the same thing, and in her mind, she whispered to him a promise for later. To achieve all they desired, they needed to be alone. At present, they had an audience.

They broke apart and, keeping her hand tight in his, Kylo Ren strode forward and addressed the room. “As Supreme Leader, I declare an end to the First Order.”

A mighty cheer rose up. To Rey’s surprise, the joy came from both sides.

“All stormtroopers are to lay down their arms, and until disarmament is complete, you will operate under the orders of General Leia Organa.”

He looked at Leia for the first time, and Rey felt the soft nudge in the Force as their minds met. Wanting to give them a moment of privacy, Rey pulled back from the connection.

After this silent exchange, Ben pressed a kiss to Rey’s palm then followed his mother into the Falcon, where they remained closeted for some time.

When Leia finally emerged, she had orders for everyone. There was still much to do. They needed to alert all other First Order personnel to the changes that had taken place, and then they’d have to deal with any who resisted the disbandment. Judging by the day’s events, though, Leia told them she did not anticipate too great a show of dissent.

As the others scrambled to carry out her instructions, Leia approached Rey and drew her into a hug. “How can I ever thank you for bringing my son back to me?”

Rey considered the path that lay ahead. “There’s still a lot of anger and pain in him. It’s not going to be easy for him to overcome that.”

“No. But he has you to help him.” She gave Rey’s shoulder a squeeze. “You’ve done more than enough for one day, and we’ve agreed it’s for the best if he stays out of sight for a while, until we’ve cleaned up here and everyone’s gotten used to the idea that he’s no longer the enemy. Go to him.”

Rey entered the Falcon to find Ben waiting for her. Her heart was racing, and when she opened her mind to him, she saw that his was too. Without a word, she took his hand and led him to her room. Slowly, carefully, they stripped each other of their battle-stained clothes. Then they entered the ’fresher. It was a tight squeeze in the small space, but it felt natural to stand together as the water washed away blood and sweat, leaving them ready for a new start.

Later, as she lay in his arms, tired but sated, she contemplated the future, and for the first time she saw for herself something not perfect, perhaps, but good and real, and most definitely worth every ounce of pain it had taken to reach this point.

She smiled to herself, and then ruffled his hair, enjoying the feel of the long strands as they slid between her fingers. He stirred and shifted against her, turning to face her. And no words were necessary as he pulled her into another deep, lingering kiss.


End file.
